Redefining "grief"

I decided today that I hate the word grief- it just doesn't express what I feel. The "grief process" would seem to indicate that there is an end and some suitable solution to the grief. Like, we "grieve" our taxes, or file a grievance with an agency for some bad thing. Can I file a grievance with G-d for giving me a child with a 14 year life span? Can I expect some sort of response or redressing of the issue? Who do I sue for the cost of therapy for this family which is trying to reshape itself? My child is not lost- he is dead almost 3 years and I can not yet imagine life without him.


People who expect it to get better with time are reacting to an "ordinary" loss. Yes, I miss my Dad, but I knew intellectually and emotionally that I would someday face life without my parents.



The loss of a child is so beyond the pale. Every missed milestone that comes up is excruciating. We have an engagement party Sat. night- another reminder that we will never have that with Jacob. All his friends are now busy with the college application process. Another heartbreak. The olive section of the supermarket breaks my heart and reminds me of my son. The list of things we should be, could be, would be doing for him and with him just gets longer.


Yes, life goes on, but we go on as the invisible handicapped/ emotionally challenged survivors of loss just wishing for a time machine.